Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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