Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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