Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
