your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
