A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
