This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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