I hate all girls vehemently.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
