Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize