walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
