I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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