the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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