if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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