my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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