I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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