Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
