By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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