Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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