chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
