if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
