Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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