I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
