you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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