Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
