I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize