She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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