Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Randomize
