remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
