She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
