he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
