I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
