I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
