I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
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