Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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