wrigley field is MILF paradise
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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