i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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