I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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