Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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