It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
