East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
