i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
They took my balls.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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