I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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