I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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