youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
are you so shy because you have an std?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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