his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
