She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
