I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
nutella sex= disaster
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
