I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize