Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
