we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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