youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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