Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
